Genetic Foraging

Recently, I took an early train to Boston for my cousin Hien’s wedding. Remembering the last time I had made eggs before my trip to Mexico and missed my flight, I rushed to make the train without bringing any proper foodstuffs. I would be arriving into Boston at noon and would have get to the hotel quickly to gussy up. But I was absolutely famished, so I would have to cram lunch in. I called my friend Dan up.

“I need to eat something very quickly in Harvard Square. What do ya got?”
“Go to Mr. Bartley’s. They’ve got burgers. I’m jealous.”
“How do I get there? The bus for the wedding leaves at 3pm.”
“It’s right on Mass. Ave. Ask anyone.”

I ask three people when I get out of the 'T' where Mr. Bartley’s is. No one knows. Fortunately, there is an info kiosk smack in the middle of Harvard Square. The silver haired man, wearing an ivory sweater and a crazy tie, gives me directions. It’s just down the street. No sweat. Only when I get there, there is a line about 20 people deep waiting to get in. I ask the gentleman who is taking orders outside how long the wait would be. “5 minutes.” I raise my eyebrows. He is back to his notepad. He looks like he has been sitting there for the past 20 years, and knows what he is talking about. I stay in line. He takes my order. (I learned later that that was in fact Mr. Bartley himself.)

Shortly, afterward, Mrs. Bartley whisks me in. I order one burger deluxe for myself and one to go for my parents who are at the hotel and insist they have eaten lunch. (They ate it in about two minutes flat.)

The burger arrives and I take a bite. With the utmost deference to Dan, to Hien and her new hubbie Dylan, to Boston, to Mr. and Mrs. Bartley, to the Red Sox, to John Kerry, to Noam Chomsky, to Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, I must say… the outside of the burger was a bit dry. The inside was nicely pink though. And it was tasty. But yes, the outside was a little dry…like crumbly dry. I think it may be partly due to the fact that is so thick and cooked on the grill using one of those irons to flatten it and cook it faster.

But the atmosphere is fantastic. Crammed, hectic, full of bric-a-brac on the wall. The mouthy grill master who has all rights to ride the staff because he is making a zillion burgers at a time. Even the menu is cheeky. The Bush Jr. burger says “(lame duck) a double cheddar texas BBQ burger with sweet potato fries”. The John Kerry burger reads “(he voted this the best burger before he voted against it) a swiss cheese burger with mushrooms, tomato, lettuce, and fries”.

I later told my cousins Luan and Duc that I ate at Mr. Bartley’s. I knew they would appreciate it, because they are always on the hunt for good food, as Luan has documented in a post he wrote on his blog:

“I grew up with 26 first cousins. At an early age, we were all conditioned to attack the food when it becomes available because if you don't, you might end up not getting anything at all.”

So, it didn’t surprise me when they told me they had been to Mr. Bartley’s that day too.

“Oh really? What time?”
“12:30p – 1pm.”
“Oh yeah, we were there around then too!”
“Huh.”

So the morning after the wedding, I reviewed the photos I had taken of Mr. Bartley’s. Lo and behold, I had taken a picture of the gang sitting in the middle of the restaurant!

I had no idea and neither did they. You can see Duc looking straight at me! I had taken the picture so fast so as not to be so conspicuous, that I wasn’t even conspicuous to my family. Well, we shared a meal together in the strangest way, and that’s what counts.

Mr. Bartley's Burger Cottage
1246 Massachusetts Ave
Cambridge, MA 02138-3820
(617) 354-6559

Comments

[Adam]

That's too bad to hear about the dry exterior. I was hoping for a phenomenal review.

[Mallika]

I live in the land of crap burgers. I couldn't have murdered that, dry exterior or not...

[Michelle]

Adam - I know, I know. At that point, I really wanted it to be super.

Mallika - Yeah, it's strange that the burger situation over by you hasn't gotten resolved yet. I did eat the whole darn thing anyway, though.

[Virginia]

hilarious!

[Michelle]

Virginia, I think I see your forehead in there.